Why can’t life just happen and why can’t someone else deal with all the feelings that come along with life?
Well, if that were true, I would not get to experience the good feelings, so I guess I actually wouldn’t want life to be that way.
Let’s put it this way. My life is complicated right now. I won’t go into details — partly because I don’t want to bore you with the details and partly because I like to keep some things about my life private. No reason to worry. Just normal stuff. Some bad. Some good. Some ugly. All complicated.
I debated on writing this but it’s heavy on my heart. I would love for every day to be grand and to post about wonderful, beautiful things every day. But, some how I feel like a sham. That’s not real. And I want to be keeping it real here on my blog. I want to share with you the good (more often than not). I want to share with you the bad. I want to share with you the ugly. I have made a lot of really great friends through blogging. Although I haven’t met all my blog friends, I feel a strong bond and connection with them. I would love to share life with you — any ups or downs you’re experiencing. I would love to pray for you. If you’ve been reading for quite some time (or you know me in life), you know I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer. Please, share your prayer requests with me. And, I would appreciate your prayers at this time too. Although I can’t give you specifics to pray for…..please just pray for me by name. For strength. For patience. For rest. I thank you a million trillion times for it.
Have you ever been going through a hard time and noticed that you do something off the wall? For example, you cut your hair short. Or, go on a cleaning frenzy? I do that sometimes. The day I found out I was pregnant all three times (I suffered a miscarriage in November of 2008), I cleaned the whole house. Top to bottom. Frantically. As if the baby would be here the very next day! I guess I deal with things that way. You know, things I can’t control. If I can’t control who likes me, what’s happening in life, when our house sells — I seem to start doing/changing things that I CAN control. Like how long/short my hair is. How clean my house is. I feel sort-of dumb admitting that. I would really feel better if some of you do the same thing.
Right now, things in my life are changing and maybe I’m not ready for those changes emotionally. I’m not ready for my little baby boy to start another year of preschool because that just means he’s one year closer to the “K” word. I’m not gonna type it because I just might start crying. My baby girl is turning 1 in less than three weeks! And our house still hasn’t sold and Lord only knows when it will sell……
Like I said, I can’t control these things. I can’t control the fact that my baby boy now weights 39 pounds and I don’t know when I won’t be able to pick him up anymore, but I know it’s coming soon. So soon that I have stared remembering every time I do pick him up and holding him a few seconds longer because that might be my last time. I can’t control the fact that the Button is taking steps and will be totting around any day now. I can’t control the fact that it may rain this Saturday during my son’s birthday party at the park. I can’t control the fact that the Button is really starting to look like my husband (which is fine, he is a beautiful person, but my goodness can’t one child look like me!!!). So, I what do I do. I clean. Perhaps that is really why I want to clean my whole house this week. That and because family is coming in town this weekend. But, it’s my way of facing these things. Does that makes sense? What’s your way of facing things that maybe you’re just not ready to deal with?
I got this Bible verse in my inbox last week. I flagged it. I wonder why……
“Look at it this way: At the right time, while we were still helpless, Christ died for ungodly people.”
On that same day, I had written my Pastor asking him for his prayers. He wrote me back and this was at the bottom of his email:
Remember, you have been bought at a high price, are a new creation, an ambassador of Christ, and have been given his righteousness
I need to remember that. Yes I do.
I wanted to share with you today the Serenity Prayer. I used to have a pretty little card with this printed on it and I had it taped to my bathroom mirror. I need to find that little card. I hope this prayer helps you in some way in this complicated life.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.